What does it mean to come from a "true place"?

Society is full of paradoxes, and as you learn and grow, it’s difficult to know when to listen and when not. While we are constantly fed messages about self improvement and idealized goals, we simultaneously see that no matter how far we get, there are always more messages telling us that we’re not there yet, not “__” enough. Though we are a society constantly obsessed with running and “moving forward,” we rarely share a clear understanding of where exactly we’re going. Try as we might, it becomes clear that overcoming one hurdle just leads to a dozen more. No matter how much we may find ourselves setting and striving for goals in life, we ultimately find that there just is no end. There will always be people influencing you to do more and be more, to move to the next level, to reach some peak, and just when you think you’ve figured something out, there’s something new telling you that you’re still not there yet. And the reason why is simple: there is no such thing as “there.”

Evolution, the history of the universe and every natural thing around us is constantly showing us the truth that there is no ultimate stability, no ultimate perfection, just constant movement. And in this movement, there are reconverging cycles: things coming back around over and over, each time a little differently. So if we’re always pushing ourselves to run to some hypothetical finish line, we’ll never truly reach it and thus never truly rest and enjoy our existence. While I agree with the notion that life is a constant journey of self discovery, I find it immensely necessary to ensure that every so often, when we feel the need, for however long we want, we take time to rest, to stop trying to seek answers and just be and enjoy ourselves as we exist right now. You’ll always learn more about yourself as you experience new things, but perhaps the most critical thing you can learn is just enough self confidence to, at times, say “stop,” ignore all other noise coming in, even from the most supporting of friends, and just revel in the here and now for a while. It may just be that that’s when you learn the most.

Finding yourself is a difficult process, though far less of one without the constraints society sets forth. It’s also immensely personal; only you have the most data points on yourself to know what’s true and what’s not. The tools we need to look within, however, are already in us: it’s the same process we use to design things, to solve problems, to innovate and to tell stories, a process which requires the most disciplined of scrutiny and honesty, of openness and imagination, of care and empathy. It requires us to look at ourselves without judgement, without fear, with complete love and possibility, all with a “friendly curiosity” and discover our core essences that govern how we move about and respond to our environment. To do this on your own, consistently amid a variety of contexts but without the influence of outside voices, is perhaps the greatest and most important accomplishment of your lifetime.

To come from a true place means to forego your expectations, judgements, preconceived notions and ego needs. 

Before the “invention” of society, of community, living organisms had no self-awareness or individualism. That part of ourselves arose because we started working together in the first place. Recognizing yourself in another is the first basic step to self-awareness and trust, and over time we grew both our need for belonging and for our own self esteem. But because self esteem is derived by how we view ourselves and how we are viewed in the context of other people, it is all too easy to get wrapped up in the idea that a strong identity is the key to our happiness. Unfortunately, however, this notion inevitably proves false, for identity is just the tangible layer between who you really are inside and how you are seen. It is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror, how you define yourself by what you do, what you say, what you surround yourself with, and how others perceive you (which of course depends more on their own identity struggles than how you really appear to them).

So though we cry, we hurt, we struggle, ever consumed with answering the question “who am I?,” the short answer is, we aren’t anything but our own awarenesses. And if you don’t have that, then you really aren’t much of anything. The very absence of identity is your true place.

Belong to yourself. Your esteem depends on it!